Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Back n' Fab

Hey ya'll! Back from the horrible tragedy that I like to call finals week; and a fun filled 21st birthday.
St. Patties Day + 21st B-Day = Hot Mess to the MAX.
Guaranteed I've accumulated at least 20 stories from all the weeks I've been away from my keyboard, but really... 21st birthday... I don't remember half of them.
So, let's just pick up from the latest story from last weekend.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but people scare me. Especially the idiots driving around me. Now, I've run over a curb or two in my life time, but really this particular woman I'm about to describe literally ran over a complete division (median) in a parking lot (she's either an idiot, or on the fast track to a DUI). Anyway, I watched this action occur while I was walking to my own car.
She stepped out of her car to inspect the damage, and I couldn't help but assess what I saw.
If she wasn't drunk, she should have been.
And that goes double in the make-up area.

Heard of the walk of shame? Miss "I just ran over a median" DEFINITELY just had the ultimate walk of shame. Between the smeared lipstick that lightly stained her lips to the black mascara chunks running down her cheeks, you could tell.
Now ladies, I'm not saying don't go out and have some fun. But, when it's time for you to actually enter the real world after a night of rolling around in someone else's sheets, take a look in the mirror before you walk out the door.

Take a piece of toilet paper, wet it, and get that s**t off your face! You've already done some regrettable things so rubbing some wet toilet paper on your face shouldn't be a huge fuss.
You won't look fab. But, hey, better than looking like Miss "I just ran over a median".

Oh, and by the way, don't run over any medians...

Stay classy guys! Well, as classy as you can.

(Oh and heads up... get dressed first too?) 


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Fab/Drab Makeup or People?

As I write these, I realize how much people's personalities and actions influence my reaction on their appearance. I can appreciate a nice face and fabulous makeup as much as the next girl, but when you're an a** it's nearly impossible to ACTUALLY appreciate that beauty.
Beauty on the outside is nothing without beauty on the inside.
I'll be signing off for a bit, so let me leave on a note that does not involve me trying to make myself feel better or cutting someone else down for the giggles.

Makeup is fabulous. It makes people feel beautiful. But it's not the end all, be all to beauty!
Beauty comes from within. Keep a positive attitude and positive vibes will be given to you in return.
I know it sounds cheesy, being a natural self- deprecator,  I thought it was at first too. But, I thought, hey why not? And started beefing myself up every day. A compliment here and there. A sarcastic "I'm all that attitude". It all helps you train your brain, until you really do feel those things about yourself. And you DESERVE to feel good like that. All the time!

So, don't just take my word for it. Get a journal and make yourself write something positive down every single day. Whether it be a great quote you heard, a story from a friend, or just a nice compliment that you feel you need to hear. Write it down, and soon enough you'll really mean all of it.

Once you've got that attitude. Go ahead. Literally beef yourself up with some makeup. But always remember, YOU are beautiful. The makeup doesn't create beauty, it enhances it.
So, even out that skin, pump up those lashes, and color those lips.
Enhance.
Believe.
And there's no telling what you can achieve!
(I love Dr. Suess by the way...)

And with that, I bid you all farewell, my loves.
But, I shall return, so keep a look out!

Much love.
And as always, stay FAB <3 nbsp="" p="">
-Kayla

Is narcissism fab?

Let's face it, we're all a little narcissistic. You have to be; gotta love yourself for someone to love you back, right?
Well, I'm no different. Of course I have my bad days. But, pretending you're far more into yourself than you really are can boost your self esteem for real. Hence my sarcastic attitude and self compliments.
So, here it goes, a post about me.

I'm pretty proud of my lashes. They grow pretty long on their own and really make my eyes pop. And, well, I know how to work em'. Let's just say these eyes have gotten me an iPhone 5 for $10. Well that and the fact that I'm an Advertising major; it's my job to sell things. Anyway, simply put, my eyes are my favorite part about myself.
Even on my "fat days" I can always say, "hey girl, calm down, you got yoself sum beautiful eyes!" (Definitely say it in a voice like that. It seems to me, that this entire generation of males speak/type like that.)
Since this is about me, I don't even have to be creepy and ask about my secret, because I know it!
It's all in the mascara. And, although I love MAC, there is no way I would actually buy any of it. My go to mascara is Rimmel Lash Blast. It's literally just a normal straight brush in a black tube adorned with the Rimmel logo. And guess what; it's 2 bucks!

Get yourself to Target. Pick up a 2 pack of Rimmel mascara for 4 bucks and have a fab look like me.
Narcissistic rant complete.

Yes, I Photoshopped my eyes making em a BIT whiter. It's finals week y'all, aka I forgot how to sleep.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Woah, I spotted a fab amongst the sea of drab.

Y'all. (Yes, I say y'all now. It's obviously a sign that I need to move out of Georgia.)
So Y'ALL, today was a rare day. I didn't go to Starbucks AND I didn't hate on everyone. Anyone happen to see a flying pig today?
With my new found sense of positivity, I actually managed to find a girl who had makeup that I envied.
Guess where I saw her...
At my favorite Chinese take-out place! (And no it wasn't the inherently angry Chinese lady who always takes my order. Seriously, is it me, or are all the ladies at those places always ready to snap?)

So, this girl. She was SO pretty; nearly a Mila Kunis look-a-like. Congrats to this girl for the fabulous genes alone.
She was waiting for her food and I just did a quick scan of her face and what she seemed to have applied. (Unlike the other time where I just stared at a random girl's lips... I'm so awkward.)
I'm not 100% certain what she did, but her bronzer caught my eye the most.

It was perfectly brushed on, in the perfect spot, in the perfect shade. Granted, I'm pretty good at getting that right myself, but this just seemed to be on a whole other level.
I would have asked for her secret, but 1. I've realized that's actually kind of weird, and I'm trying to cut back and 2. I was starving and couldn't even put a sentence together.

This just goes to show, on a good day I can find someone out there who really impresses me.
Take a tip from her; no matter where you go (Chinese take out or real restaurant) ALWAYS go out looking the most fabulous way you can!

ROCK ON MY CHICK-A-DEES (Patiently waiting for Easter :D)

(#Selfie #Imprettygoodwithmybronzer/blush? #Lovehashtags)

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Dear Women in my eye line, EW. DRAB.


WARNING: I am a professional people watcher. You don't want to walk into my line of vision. I WILL judge you; you are a book and I'm looking merely at the cover. We all do it.
My initial cover overview will let me know if I want to continue reading or not.
I could tell in about 5 seconds that I would never make it to page one with this particular woman.

I was in Zoe's Kitchen. My new fav lunch spot (they know me by name; it's so sad). I spotted my target. It was all her fault for cutting me in line.
Now, I'm sorry, but I have no respect for someone who draws stars next to their eyes as if it's "cutesy" and "tattoo-ish". No, it's dumb. Either make it permanently stupid, or use your eyeliner on your EYES like you're supposed to. 
This woman had me annoyed right off the bat. 
It's was one of those moments where everything she did would annoy me; "UGH, look at her picking her table like she owns the joint!" 
(Yeah, "cutsies"still pisses me off.)

Anyway, her makeup wasn't even THAT awful, stupid, but not awful.
I think the fact that she cut me made me turn "stars" into "what a stupid, atrocious monster"!
(A well deserved title for a cutter.)
The only lesson to learn here is: even if you have fabulous makeup skills, they can be easily masked by an awful disposition. 

So, don't be a cutter or I'm deeming you drab. Take that lady!
(I've had about 2 Monster Energy drinks... I'm bound to snap at any moment. Don't mind me.)  

(NOT AMUSED)

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Everything I see is Drab.

I think it's that time of the month, because everyone I see has first made me mad because they can't blend their eyeshadows and then sad because I'm being such a b***h for no reason. Yeah it's about that time. Anyway, I'll just tell you about one girl in particular that sent me over the edge.

I went to apply to work at the Lancome counter in Dillards (I know they should've hired me on the spot right?) And the woman I spoke to for information had THE weirdest eyeshadow going on. It was a mix of a teal green and bubble gum pink. Does that even sound like an appealing color combo?

So colors aside, the way she put them on her lids was absolutely ridiculous. She didn't blend, she just put them in rectangular patches, one after the other. Like a checker board of sorts.

It was at that point I realized that I needed to manage that counter. And as my first order of managerial status I would teach the employees how to handle the makeup they were trying to sell.
Now my only issue is finding time to apply.
Wish me luck!
And remember to stay fab <3 br="" nbsp="">

Monday, March 4, 2013

Starbucks. FAB.

Well, I'm a Starbucks junkie. The first step is admitting you have a problem right?
Living at Starbucks has given me the opportunity to further enhance my people watching skills. Call me a creep if you want, but the checkers tutor wearing the bath robe is quite hard to look away from.
He doesn't wear makeup though, so no need to give you the secrets behind his beauty regiments.
The woman sitting next to bath-robe-man though, happened to have the coolest color lipstick on!
It wasn't red, it wasn't coral, it wasn't pink. Honestly, I don't know what color it was, but it was fabulous. I stared at her lips for a while trying to use my art school knowledge to decipher the color. But as I got lost in trying to choose between magenta and plum, I noticed she was staring right at me. It wasn't a look of disgust or confusion though. Just an intent moment of eye locking. It was the weirdest moment of my life between another female and myself. Anyway, I tried to pretend I wasn't the creepiest person ever and just asked her what brand her lipstick was, and she told me the coolest thing!
She made it herself!
She took old lipsticks, melted them, put the melted contents in a form and then let it harden. I was shocked, and SO intrigued. There was nothing else behind the process though. Just as simple and knowing what colors to mix and making sure you had a mold that would give it some shape.
Cool right?
I tried it myself, and have not quite mastered it yet (I'm not one to get things right the first time).
So I encourage you all to try it yourselves. Take the ends of some old lipsticks and go to town.
One day you may have some creep in Starbucks staring at your lips too.

Get a little cray cray; it's fun.