Back n' Fab

Hey ya'll! Back from the horrible tragedy that I like to call finals week; and a fun filled 21st birthday.
St. Patties Day + 21st B-Day = Hot Mess to the MAX.
Guaranteed I've accumulated at least 20 stories from all the weeks I've been away from my keyboard, but really... 21st birthday... I don't remember half of them.
So, let's just pick up from the latest story from last weekend.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but people scare me. Especially the idiots driving around me. Now, I've run over a curb or two in my life time, but really this particular woman I'm about to describe literally ran over a complete division (median) in a parking lot (she's either an idiot, or on the fast track to a DUI). Anyway, I watched this action occur while I was walking to my own car.
She stepped out of her car to inspect the damage, and I couldn't help but assess what I saw.
If she wasn't drunk, she should have been.
And that goes double in the make-up area.

Heard of the walk of shame? Miss "I just ran over a median" DEFINITELY just had the ultimate walk of shame. Between the smeared lipstick that lightly stained her lips to the black mascara chunks running down her cheeks, you could tell.
Now ladies, I'm not saying don't go out and have some fun. But, when it's time for you to actually enter the real world after a night of rolling around in someone else's sheets, take a look in the mirror before you walk out the door.

Take a piece of toilet paper, wet it, and get that s**t off your face! You've already done some regrettable things so rubbing some wet toilet paper on your face shouldn't be a huge fuss.
You won't look fab. But, hey, better than looking like Miss "I just ran over a median".

Oh, and by the way, don't run over any medians...

Stay classy guys! Well, as classy as you can.

(Oh and heads up... get dressed first too?) 

Is narcissism fab?

Let's face it, we're all a little narcissistic. You have to be; gotta love yourself for someone to love you back, right?
Well, I'm no different. Of course I have my bad days. But, pretending you're far more into yourself than you really are can boost your self esteem for real. Hence my sarcastic attitude and self compliments.
So, here it goes, a post about me.

I'm pretty proud of my lashes. They grow pretty long on their own and really make my eyes pop. And, well, I know how to work em'. Let's just say these eyes have gotten me an iPhone 5 for $10. Well that and the fact that I'm an Advertising major; it's my job to sell things. Anyway, simply put, my eyes are my favorite part about myself.
Even on my "fat days" I can always say, "hey girl, calm down, you got yoself sum beautiful eyes!" (Definitely say it in a voice like that. It seems to me, that this entire generation of males speak/type like that.)
Since this is about me, I don't even have to be creepy and ask about my secret, because I know it!
It's all in the mascara. And, although I love MAC, there is no way I would actually buy any of it. My go to mascara is Rimmel Lash Blast. It's literally just a normal straight brush in a black tube adorned with the Rimmel logo. And guess what; it's 2 bucks!

Get yourself to Target. Pick up a 2 pack of Rimmel mascara for 4 bucks and have a fab look like me.
Narcissistic rant complete.

Yes, I Photoshopped my eyes making em a BIT whiter. It's finals week y'all, aka I forgot how to sleep.

Everything I see is Drab.

I think it's that time of the month, because everyone I see has first made me mad because they can't blend their eyeshadows and then sad because I'm being such a b***h for no reason. Yeah it's about that time. Anyway, I'll just tell you about one girl in particular that sent me over the edge.

I went to apply to work at the Lancome counter in Dillards (I know they should've hired me on the spot right?) And the woman I spoke to for information had THE weirdest eyeshadow going on. It was a mix of a teal green and bubble gum pink. Does that even sound like an appealing color combo?

So colors aside, the way she put them on her lids was absolutely ridiculous. She didn't blend, she just put them in rectangular patches, one after the other. Like a checker board of sorts.

It was at that point I realized that I needed to manage that counter. And as my first order of managerial status I would teach the employees how to handle the makeup they were trying to sell.
Now my only issue is finding time to apply.
Wish me luck!
And remember to stay fab <3 br="" nbsp="">